Help/Advice/Thoughts

[sevensquire]

Okay, so I've been married now for about 6 years, and I have a smoking fetish. It's not a hardcore fetish, but it's still there. Problem is, I don't smoke, neither does my wife, and I actually don't like the smell of cigarette smoke. She absolutely hates it. I could tolerate it though, especially during sex.

She doesn't know that I have this fetish, I've never brought it up and I've never shared it with ANYBODY, except anonymously on the web in a couple of places dedicated to the smoking fetish. I sort of want to talk to her about this and try to convince her to smoke for me while we have sex, but I am worried. At times I feel ashamed of having this... for lack of better words, problem. I don't really want to have this fetish, but it's definitely there and it isn't going to go away I don't think. But I'm worried about how she will react.

Have any of you had similar experiences? Did you talk to your spouse? How did they react? I realize that talking to my wife about this and asking her to do this would change our relationship a lot, and I don't really want her to smoke except during sex. I'd be okay if she did I think, but that's a separate issue I suppose. Should I approach her about it? How should I approach her about it? Or should I just keep it in and not say/do anything about it?

Thank you in advance.

[loadmaster]

Don't I know the feeling...I was in the same position with my first wife. She was adamantly anti-smoking and I had the same deep harbored fetish and was scared to bring it up. When I finally did she was very understanding and even acknowledged that she found it hot loking also but that's as far as it went. She would indulge me by watching smoking fetish videos during sex but little more. Well, fast forward and for totally unrelated reasons, we were divorced. My present wife is a "Social" smoker who will smoke only during sex and /or very infrequent social occasions. Perfect! She is the ultimate smoking wife/sex partner and shares this and so many other of my fetishes.
Give it a try. You know her better that anyone. She will probably understand if nothing else.

[paco_alias2003]

To the OP you're in my exact situation and no I've never brought it up or discussed it with her and probably never will.

My present wife is a "Social" smoker who will smoke only during sex and /or very infrequent social occasions. Perfect!

Perfect is the perfect description for your situation. I'd find living with a routine or heavy smoker annoying but a social smoker like your wife would be perfect.

[yocatyo]

I was in a semi-similar situation. I suggested an E-cig. Works like a charm.

[supnsndkng]

I was in your shoes for many years. i don't smoke... the wife was totally against it. Can't stand the smell. But a hot milf or young girl smoking was such a huge turn on for me. So I found an outlet for my fetish...I make smoking fetish videos and sell them on a mega site. My fantasies are fulfilled and the wife loves the money. My point is If your wife seems dead set against it, i wouldn't push her to do it. try to find another way to satisfy your fetish.

[BirdofDeath]

I like to think of it this way: if it was your wife who had a fetish, and she requested you do something for her that disgusted you, would you do it?

I've never smoked anything in my life. Thankfully, my girlfriend used to smoke but quit a couple years ago. She smokes every once in a while for me after I exposed my fetish to her. It's great because I normally don't like the smell or anything else that comes with regular, heavy smoking, but I still get the thrill of watching her.

The difference seems to be that your wife is grossed out by it. My g/f is compliant because she smoked for years of her own volition.

I don't know if you smoke, but if you don't, just imagine that she's asking you to smoke for her. I don't think I would do it for my girlfriend if the roles were reversed. Would you?

Not that you shouldn't ask. What kind of relationship do you have if it's one without trust and honesty? I took a risk and it paid off. If your wife loves you, she'll probably at least make some small effort, even if it's not exactly what you had in mind.

And PS, I was also afraid the smell would bother me. It doesn't